So, I know I haven't updated this thing in forever, but thought I would stop by and make a post.
Things with my mom are still awkward, I am starting to trust that her old life is behind her and I have been letting her spend time with the kids, but as far as our relationship it is iffy at best. I just don't see how we will ever have a mother/daughter relationship.
I figure I am going to just let it go and let her have a relationship with her grandkids as long as she is doing good.
I have to remind myself often that she isn't my responsibility and since I have been doing that I have been doing better.
My husband has been more supportive, but in a way that I don't know how to explain.
It is a silent support, it is in the way that he sees things she says that eat at me and he calls it out. It is nice to know I am not alone and not the only one that sees it.
My relationship with my husband and my daughters seems stronger, better. I don't feel so down and I feel happy, I feel a little carefree sometimes.
I am doing good, moving on and just reminding myself a few important things:
- My family is the most important thing
- I have to take care of myself
- I can't always do everything
- I can't control everything
- My mother is not my responsibility
and the biggest one
I deserve to be happy and loved, I have that and I need to make sure I give that happiness and love back to my family 100%. There are only four people that matter, my husband, my two beautiful children, and myself.
I hope if someone is reading this and they need guidance or just someone to relate then they will feel free to comment or follow.
I don't know how much more I will write, because today I feel good, but I will keep you updated on her recovery and my feelings/thoughts/emotions.
